Worker 1 "I only eat babyfood when I am on a diet."
Worker 2 "Uhm really? Why?"
Worker 1 "Its natural." rummages through bag to put out the little jar.
Worker 2 "So are apples."
Worker 1 "Oh no they aren't..."
Boss "We need to figure out a way to work less on support of employees and more on outside vendors."
Me "Hire smarter employees."
Boss "Hahahaha. Well we could but lets start with training. Why don't we have a 2 hour training video."
Me "Ok I can make one. On what?"
Boss "Our support software."
Me "Uhm it works only on PC and doesn't work on Macs. Thats why we have all the issues."
Boss "Who decided to buy that?"
Me "The CEO"
Boss "Oh...ok."
Worker 1 "Something fucking reeks in the kitchen"
Worker 2 "Check the fridge."
Worker 1 "No way I think it is coming from there."
Worker 2 "Then don't open the fridge."
Worker 1 "My FOOD is in there."
Worker 2 "What is it?"
Worker 1 "Cheese and brocollii soup"
Me piping in from my desk, "That's what fucking stinks."
Worker 1 "Oh...I think your right. Sorry"
Boss "How was your weekend?"
Me "Ok. Just ate turkey and watched tv."
Boss "Really? I thought you didn't eat meat."
Me "I only eat meat hahahaha. Seriously though, no I have no problem with meat."
Boss "I thought it was you."
Me "Nope"
Boss "Do you eat bacon?"
Me "Yes"
Boss "I love bacon"
Me "Can we start my yearly eval? I am already overtime for the day."
Boss "Oh ya. Sorry. I just like bacon."
Me "About my review..."
Employee "I can't find the stickers for the folders."
Me "Did you check the drawer labeled office supplies."
Employee "No."
Me "Where did you check?"
Employee "..."
Me "..."
Employee "..."
Me "You didn't check anywhere at all did you?"
Employee "You don't need to be an ass about it."
