Offering to Help

So last week we had a new construction project at work. Since I no longer do this I decided I would offer my assistance when we got slow in our own group.
So I called the person in charge.
Me: "I have time, you want me to help you with the plans?"
Coworker 1 : "Uh...No. We have it well in hand."
Me: "Ok. I wasn't meaning anything by it. I just had extra time and figured-"
Coworker 1: "No we have it handled."

About 2 days later I get an email at midnight.
"Hey I know your busy but can we get your help with the construction project?"
I called the coworker and their boss answered-
Me: "I got your email I can help sure. But are you sure you need it? I called a couple days ago and asked as well but they said they had it all taken care of."
Silence...
20 seconds of complete silence.
Coworker 2: "You asked them a couple days ago?"
Me: "Ya."
Coworker 2: "Gotcha. Well why don't you help us out tomorrow."

I show up and notice an entire wall is installed backwards...an entire wall. I am not sure how anyone could have missed the fact that the fucking wrong side of the wall was showing and painted the wrong color now.

Me to Coworker 1: "The wall is...installed backwards. The facing should be towards the main room and the wall panelings facing the hallways. Instead the inner section is facing the hallway."
Coworker 1: "Hey I didn't tell them to call you and get your help. We had it taken care of."
Me: "Ya that explains the wall being installed backwards. Keep up the good work. Make sure the door has deadbolt on the outside."

God damn. Admitting you can't handle something is fine. But don't be an ass about it.

This...is my Yearly Review?

A couple weeks ago I get a review and it states: "Consistently shows excellent judgment at all times in leadership, decisions making and responsibilities."

In the "Suggest Goals section: "Could show growth in decision making."

So I go to talk to my boss. "Uhm. Can you explain these two things? They sound like the same thing but one is in the merits one is in the goal section."
Boss: "Oh ya remember that time when you refused to help that person because it was against process?"
Me: "Ya."
Boss: "It was then. See I know you followed process and did exactly as you should have and as myself and the other Lead had informed you but you could have still done it."
Me: "So...NOT done what you said."
Boss: "Ya."
Me: "Even though less than 3 days before that you said...if this exact situation happens I am....never to do it and refuse anyone who ask?"
Boss: "Ya."
Me: "..."
Boss: "..."
Me: "That makes shit for sense."
Boss: "Ya I can see how you would think that but..."
Me: "Yes?"
Boss: "Ya that doesn't make any sense."
Me: "You will change that then before turning in the paperwork?"
Boss: "Yes sorry about that."

Things I Overheard Last Week

Employee: "This supposedly clean fork has enough food on it for an extra meal."
Other employee: "Don't use it then. You need to go on a diet anyway."

Lead to Employees at meeting: "We need to make sure we put recycling in the recycling bins I keep finding cans in the trash and garbage in the recycle bins."
Employee: "Don't they go to the same place anyway?"
Lead: "No one goes to the recycling center. One I suppose goes to the dump."
Employee: "I am...not sure I believe that."
Lead: "We can toss you in one of them and you can write us a letter from whichever one you end up at."

Employee: "I love this iMac mouse its awesome. Except I can't get the middle button to work."
Other employee: "Thats a sticker...from logitech. That's not a iMac mouse."
Employee: "Oh I thought it was."
Other employee: "Why?"
Employee: "Because its...uhm...because its white and plugged into this computer."

Client Support to Customer: "No I am sorry that offer isn't valid anymore. The deadline has passed."
Client: "There are really no such things as deadlines."
Client Support Rep...not missing a beat: "And now there is no such thing as that original offer."

Things I Overhead This Last Week 1/3/2011 & Before Christmas

While making a group batch of New Years Eve cookies:
"Man I am fighting this horrible flu. Last night I thought I had end stage colon cancer. Can you grab the butter?"

Employee: "I don't think that people should celebrate Christmas, its racist."

The day before Christmas vacation started for our company.
Boss: "If the Christmas lights get in the way of people doing work we will need to discuss taking them down."
Me: "Uhm. We start vacation tomorrow, no one will be here."
Boss: "Ya just inform me if we have to take them down..."

Boss: "We really should not be buying people Christmas presents for people at work."
Me: "Understood. We should probably inform people then."
Boss: "I can take care of that I have to drop my gift off to the accounting person they can send out an email..."
Me: "You bought them... a gift?"
Boss: "Ya I got them this really nice set of dinnerware."
Me: "Ah... k."