Employee: "This supposedly clean fork has enough food on it for an extra meal."
Other employee: "Don't use it then. You need to go on a diet anyway."
Lead to Employees at meeting: "We need to make sure we put recycling in the recycling bins I keep finding cans in the trash and garbage in the recycle bins."
Employee: "Don't they go to the same place anyway?"
Lead: "No one goes to the recycling center. One I suppose goes to the dump."
Employee: "I am...not sure I believe that."
Lead: "We can toss you in one of them and you can write us a letter from whichever one you end up at."
Employee: "I love this iMac mouse its awesome. Except I can't get the middle button to work."
Other employee: "Thats a sticker...from logitech. That's not a iMac mouse."
Employee: "Oh I thought it was."
Other employee: "Why?"
Employee: "Because its...uhm...because its white and plugged into this computer."
Client Support to Customer: "No I am sorry that offer isn't valid anymore. The deadline has passed."
Client: "There are really no such things as deadlines."
Client Support Rep...not missing a beat: "And now there is no such thing as that original offer."
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