The Lost Apples

"Where are the apples?" I am asked today.
"What do you mean?"

Employee-"The apples we put out yesterday are gone."
Me-"Did people eat them?  I mean...that's what they were there for."

Employee-"I don't think so. There were bunches of them."
Me-"Ok maybe they got moved"

So begins a fucking 1 hour search covering 4 floors looking for a bag of fucking apples.
Because hey they are rare or something. Some kind of golden apple or something.
People actually stopping work. "Where are the apples?" They ask.
"I am looking."
I give up after an hour as I have shit to do.
Someone comes to my desk. "Did you find the apples."
Me-"Nope."
Employee-"Are you still looking?"
Me-" "   (In my head "Do I fucking look like I am still looking?")
Employee-" "
Me-"We have tons of snacks and stuff. Can it wait?"
Employee- "Ya I guess I can go buy lunch or something"   Drops shoulders like I had just fired them.
Me "Thanks"

My boss comes in and passes me by.
He comes back 10 minutes later.
Boss-"Did we figure out where the apples are?"
Me-"I looked for an hour but...they are just apples maybe people ate them."
Boss-"Well if you get a chance..."
Me-"I already wasted an hour. I will just go get more."
Boss-"Well I don't want these to disappear too."
Me-"Maybe someone ate them."
Boss-"That's a lot of apples."'
Me-"How many? Because I keep damn asking and no one seems to know?"
Boss-"I just heard alot."

An hour later one of the workers comes up to me...
"Thanks for the apples I appreciate you getting healthy stuff."
Me-"Did you have one"
Employee-"I ate them all"
Me-"How many were there."
Employee-"2. Oh and I washed the bowl out and put it on the back into the cupboard."

So I go tell the boss.
Me-"Listen 2 damn apples. I wasted hours on this and I told everyone that someone just ate them. I don't have time to look into this crap I am swamped."
Boss-"Ya its just apples"
Me"..wha? bu? you?"
Fuck it.
Its like an alternate reality.

If I had not lived through it I wouldn't believe it.