Here's a Fun One Also Involving Forks

Last week we spent over 4 man hours trying to find out what happened to 12 forks...
Yes.
It was like a scavenger hunt with no fun.
Bet you can't guess where we found them. In our tech office.
Sitting on a computer box.

Here's a fun one also involving forks.

I come back from lunch 2 weeks ago and the entire place stinks... like a race car track. Nasty burning smell.
I of course make my way to the kitchen.
There I find an employee waving a towel at the toaster oven.
They had placed their plastic fork on the toaster oven and cooked something and it had melted.
But that wasn't even the best part.
They wanted to get the bits of melted plastic off. So they cranked the fucking thing to its highest and just turned the plastic to molten blackend stinking jelly.

The Little Goldfish That Could

And another gem.

I hear a spoon being mulched by the garbage disposal.
So I go to the kitchen.
No one.
The disposal is barely running and in safe mode a little audible alarm going off.
I come to it, unplug it and remove a very warped and bent fork.
Employee is no where to be seen.
Hmmmm.
I go sit down.

"Hey why won't the disposal work." I hear someone yell.
I get up and walk over.
Me - "There was a fork in it, I unplugged it."
Employee - "That was mine. I was cleaning my beta fish bowl and the glass marbles fell down the drain."
Me - "With a fork?"
Employee - "I was using the fork to get them out."
I now notice what the employee has in their hand.
The wet/dry vacuum.
Me - "You were NOT going to try to vacuum the marbles out were you?"
Employee - "No...."
They stand there.
I stand there.
10 seconds of them standing there.
Employee - "Its a wet/dry."

Me - "I am calling someone don't touch it."
Employee - "ok"
I call the plumber who comes in.
The fucking employee had dropped the beta fish in there. And aside from a torn fin he was alive!
That fucker was going to fork that fish out, then wet vac him out.
Well... I guess he was trying.

 Followup:
Mc Scrappy Pants is now on my desk.
I don't care if we are not supposed to have shit like this at our desk.
I saved the little bugger he is mine.