Office Quickie: Smoke Break

Yesterday I find one of my employees taking a smoke break...but it's not break time.

Me - "Uhm. Was your break late?"
Employee - "No, why?"
Me - "Well we are swamped and the other office is getting calls."
Employee - "Oh, the phones weren't ringing."
Me - "That's because people were ON them!"

Office Quickie: Musical Chairs

Coworker - "How many chairs did we have in this room?"
Me - "Four."
Coworker - "There are three now."
Me - "You are sitting in number four."
Silence
A weak smile
Coworker - "Ok that was embarrassing."
Me - "Rightfully so."

And that person is in charge of people... jezuz.

Office Quickie: Wet Paint

An employee walks by me and I notice their green shirt has white paint all over one side, like they leaned against a painted wall.
I run to our new rooms construction and sure enough the wet paint has a huge imprint of someone having leaned against it. I look and the wet paint sign is still there nearby.

I catch up to the employee. "Dude your covered in paint."
Employee - "Oh shit."  He looks at his shoulder, "Damn!"
Me - "What happened?"
Employee - "Oh I was talking for awhile and wanted to rest so I moved some piece of paper and leaned against the wall."
He had moved the wet paint sign.

Office Quickie: Speaking Spanish

Last week we got a delivery that wasn't ours. And it was from some strange company.
When I call them its all in Spanish. It's an international call of some kind and we spend over 30 minutes trying to understand one another. I know the word burrito, and she knows the word Sir.
It continues for another 10 minutes before I finally hang up in frustration after asking to talk to someone who spoke English for the 20th time.
I lean back in my chair.
My co-worker looks at me and says, "Hey, I speak Spanish did you need something?"

Jezuz.